Still in Germany. Just added a pants suit. Oh joy.

Change of Plans!

...per usual with me.
So here's what I'm doing now:
July 7th-Sept. 28 Vienna, Austria with the language school

THEN

Oct. 2nd - Dec. ?? Hamburg, Germany with Airbus doing an internship

Five months now give or take.
Still terrified. Met too many amazing people I'm going to miss.
But the terrifying job opportunity beckons and I'd be an idiot not to take it.

Now to head back to Dallas and get a nice boring corporate office appropriate haircut.
And frumpy, professional clothes (death to pants suits!!!) and ...kitten heels. Gag me.


So. I fly out in 5 days. I've been reassuring everyone that I'll be back before they know it and they'll hardly know I'm gone. I forgot to give myself a pep talk. Whoops.

Accepted! Courage, dear boy! Courage!

Stay calm and carry on.

Courage is acting in the face of fear.

Screwed my courage to the sticking post.

Come what may, I'll conquer all odds.

Just bury your head in a book.

After waiting and waiting to be accepted or denied by BCA I finally got the fancy shmancy 'Congratulations!' email as an excellent Valentine's Day present three days ago.

Woohoo I'm going to be in Austria and Germany for a solid year! Yeahhhhh wha whaaaa!

...this was my initial reaction. 

This is my current reaction:

Holy shit I'm going to be in a foreign land of magical unknown stuff without my friends and family! Why am I doing this again?! panicpanicpanic Eject button please.

But luckily, I am a very calm logical young lady. Yes yes to the point of neurotic even with my logical processes. Which is why I've created a pro's and con's list. Not that this will of course change the fact that I'm going, it just helps me justify my actions. Here we go.

Pros about studying abroad in Germany

-Become fluent in German!

-Fulfill my major requirement!

-I've already paid the $250 application fee

-Didn't apply for housing here with my girls

-Learn about people different from me

-Discover that I can survive on my own

-Explore new places, food, entertainment, knowledge

-Looks great on a resume

Cons about studying abroad in Germany

-I don't know German yet. Sort of suck in GERM 201. Not a good sign.

-Texas winter is about 40 degrees. Germany winter is about 2 degrees. Shit.

-Studying abroad is ridiculously expensive

-I'll miss ring dunk and dance with my friends :(

-My beloved dog Sophie

Overall I'd say none of that really matters because I'm still going regardless. I'm now going through the "attempt to save my meager paychecks" and "apply for all scholarship and funding" phases. Did I mention this phase sucks when coupled with papers, exams, work, and my leadership organization? Oh, terribly sorry. IT FREAKING SUCKS BALLS. I haven't slept regularly in awhile now. Meh.

I suppose the number one thing clawing at me is if this really does happen, will I be able to succeed in completing this? I mean sure I'm a pretty independent person when it comes to money, work, research, and entertaining myself alone with a book. But being in a foreign country on my own? Will I be able to catch on to the language successfully enough to pass my classes at Philipps University? Will I fall into a vat of sadness when smacked with culture shock and dreary weather? I know people are just people no matter where one travels, but will I be brave enough to sit with the other kids at the lunch table?

Do I have the mentality to succeed in such an experience? I mean yes if I stop looking at it so deeply I know I certainly will. Just do what I know is best and stay logical about everything and I should be fine.

I feel as if this is one of those easier said than done accomplishments.

Ah gross that was emo and wrist slitting. Stop rolling your eyes at me. I'm sleep deprived, hungry, cold, and anxious about this change. I'm therefore currently in as bad a state as a Russian novelist so obviously I deserve some leeway. 

No matter. I'm a Gryffindor! (according to pottermore. haters wanna hate.) So I have courage! 

Or more realistically I'm from a bad ass, independent, Texas family with balls of steel so whatever happens I'll  totally pone. If not I hear the beer there is excellent.

Okay. Off to shower then study some more then prepare for a fun filled Friday of work and school. Oh the glamour of college living! Cold pizza anyone?